Last week I explored 5 self limiting beliefs we hold about fashion. Self limiting beliefs are thoughts and beliefs that we hold that limit what we believe is possible for ourselves. We think it’s true whether it really is or not. Here are 5 more of those lies we tell ourselves about fashion and style.
1. I don’t have enough money for nice clothes. It doesn’t take a lot of money to dress well. However, you do have to spend some money. If you keep telling yourself you don’t have enough money, perhaps you are really telling yourself you aren’t worth the investment. I’m here to tell you that you ARE worth the investment. It’s okay to spend money on clothing. Spend well and wisely. It’s not okay to buy tons of things you don’t wear, but it’s okay to have a budget and dress as nicely as you can on your budget.
Related: Being Responsible With Fashion
2. I can’t put together stylish outfits. It can take a little practice, but anyone can do this. Study pleasing color combinations in nature or in home decor. What do you like about them? Recreate these color combos with the things in your closet. Take a SELFIE. Put on an outfit and then take a selfie. That picture is truly worth a thousand words. Does it look right? Do the proportions of the garments work together? Does everything fit well and flatter you? If not, start over. If you need some help with basic formulas, invest in some of the GYPO Outfit Formulas capsules. When you get down, a few basic formulas- rinse and repeat. Try that same outfit in different colors or prints. Everyone has a personal style. You know what you like and don’t. Expressing your style just takes a little practice.
3. I don’t want people to think I’m shallow, vain, crazy… insert any number of things we worry about other people thinking. This lie we tell ourselves comes down to being self conscious. When I first gave some thought to wearing kimonos, they were not an item any of my friends and I had ever worn growing up. They were not particularly trendy in my town. (I live in a southern rural area that takes about two to three years to catch up to trends anyway and then they hang on to them- off shoulder, cold shoulder, monograms -are just a few that some keep hanging on to- as if it’s the newest thing.) I tend to have a dialogue with myself every time I try a new trend, wondering what people will think. I finally got tired of waiting for this slow place to catch up, so I quit worrying about what other people will think. Most don’t think as much about what we wear as we do. I could think that I look silly in a kimono or that other people think I look silly, but really, I feel happy when I wear them and I don’t care how I look. Sometimes I feel a bit like Helen Roper from Three’s Company who always wore some flowing mumu, and that makes me laugh, but it doesn’t stop me from wearing a kimono.
I used to get the question “why are you so dressed up?” frequently, but eventually everyone got used to me. If I were self-conscious about my clothing choices, I would have started dressing down because of this statement. I feel better dressed up just a bit, so that’s what I do. You have to “DO YOU”. Trying new things can be a little uncomfortable at first, but don’t let other people’s opinions hold you back.
4. I’m too tall. Do you know how many of us shorties wish we could reach the top shelf without a ladder? Thankfully, they make clothing in tall sizes. If you think you are too tall for heels, but love them, wear them anyway. There isn’t a rule that says you can’t wear heels if you are tall. Someone probably made fun of you as a child and you don’t want to draw attention to yourself or your height. What do other’s opinions about your height matter anyway?
5. I’m too short. I’m too short for pants, long skirts, etc. Raising my hand. Well- That’s why they have the petite department and tailors. Don’t let your limitations limit you (pun intended and unintended). Granted, there are some things that don’t flatter a particular body type and other items that do. It’s about learning your body type and what best flatters it. Once you learn, you likely won’t be drawn to items that don’t flatter it anyway. But if you still are, shop for those items in cuts that are proportionate to your body. Petites aren’t too short for midi or maxi skirts but they shouldn’t wear extremely voluminous long skirts and the skirt needs to fall at the right length on the body, the same as for people of regular heights. Turn that negative thought around- that skirt’s too long for me, not I’m too short. It’s the skirt’s fault, not yours. Just kidding. The point is not to beat yourself up over one item not working for you. There’s likely an alternative that does.
Let’s take these lies we tell ourselves and turn them into positive thoughts.
I can afford to dress well vs I don’t have enough money for nice clothes.
I can put together stylish outfits vs I can’t.
I will dress to feel good and I will not worry about what other people think about my outfits vs I don’t want people to think I’m vain, crazy etc for liking nice or trendy clothes.
I‘m the perfect height for me vs I’m too tall or I’m too short. Focus on an aspect you do like- I love my shoulders, long legs, etc.
Do you relate to any of these lies we tell ourselves? Are there any other self limiting beliefs that you hold?