“I can’t pull off that look.” ” I can’t wear a bold lipstick.” “I’m too old to wear ________ (insert- skinny jeans, shorts, ?) ”
Have you ever told yourself any of those things? I have, and as a result I’ve missed out on a lot of fun fashion and make up trends that I could have been enjoying along the way, as well as opportunities to feel more confident.
Those statements are all lies we tell ourselves. They are all self limiting beliefs and we have such beliefs about all areas of our lives- finances, careers, relationships,etc. As women, we tend to embrace many self limiting beliefs about fashion and beauty.
Self limiting beliefs are thoughts and beliefs that we hold that limit what we believe is possible for ourselves. We think it’s true whether it really is or not. We learned some of these thoughts from our family and we formed some of them for ourselves based on negative experiences. Did anyone ever make fun of your clothes or shoes in school?
Why should we take the time to examine our self limiting beliefs about fashion and beauty? These things affect our style and beauty inside and out. If you are telling yourself lies about clothing and style, you are limiting your self-confidence and missing out on all the positive benefits of wearing a great outfit. It’s not just about how you look on the outside- there’s a positive inner feeling that comes with being dressed and ready for the day. Those inner feelings reflect on the outside too.
Here are 5 lies (self limiting beliefs) we tell ourselves about fashion and clothing.
1 I don’t have a reason to get dressed.
Yes you do! YOU are the reason. Getting dressed in something that your feel good in is a form of self-care. You will feel more mentally prepared for the day and more productive. If someone unexpectedly stops by or there is an emergency, you are ready to go and presentable. You won’t have to make excuses for your appearance. Unless you live alone, your family is seeing you. While they love you no matter, perhaps your spouse will appreciate that you took some effort to care about how you look. You probably didn’t go on dates in your sweats and no makeup in the beginning. Let your spouse know you still care about looking nice for them. Your are setting an example for your children. Do they really need to see you in pajamas or sweats everyday? No, they need to see someone who cares about them because they first cared about themselves. They need to learn to value themselves and to know that you value them enough to get dressed. There you go- three reasons to get dressed.
2 I’m too busy to get dressed (or to be stylish).
Life is busy, especially for younger moms. So many others need your attention to get them on their way. Going back to number one, you will feel better and set a better example if you get dressed. Make time to get dressed. Pick out something the night before. Get up a few minutes earlier. Even jeans and a t-shirt that both fit well show you made some effort. And really, how long does it take to physically put those clothes on? 2-3 minutes tops. It probably takes longer to pick something out, so prep your outfit ahead of time. That goes for those of us that have to dress and show up somewhere for work. You have time to be stylish. Make time to put a little thought into your outfits.
3 I’m too fat. I’ve always been overweight and always will be.
Nope! I totally disagree with that one. Size and shape should not hinder you from getting dressed and being stylish. They make clothing in all shapes and sizes. Here is one caveat- as my husband’s former coworker would say “Just because they make it in your size, doesn’t mean you should wear it.” It’s about wearing things that fit appropriately and flatter the body you have. Hiding those extra pounds in baggy clothing only makes you look bigger. Clothing that’s too tight isn’t flattering either. You don’t have to remain overweight if you truly are. If it’s a medical condition, seek medical help. If it’s just a self limiting belief that you will always be overweight, do something about it. Start with telling yourself you deserve to be better. Love the body you have along the way, but love yourself enough to be the best version of yourself.
4. I don’t have the right body for stylish clothes. Um, exactly what is the right body? We all have different shapes. You have the right body- you have the one God gave you. Accept it and learn what clothing choices are right for the body you have. Need some help? I recommend investing in a copy of the Body Shape Capsule Wardrobe. It’s a simple lesson on identifying your body shape and includes links for clothing that fits and flatters your body type.
5. I have nothing to wear. For most of us, that’s about the most exaggerated statement ever. Most of us have closets brimming with more clothes than we can wear in a week, month or year. Stop telling yourself that. It only serves to discourage you from using your creative muscles and pulling together an outfit. That mindset keeps you in a style rut and keeps you reaching for the same thing over and over. Perhaps your lifestyle has changed and you don’t have the right clothes to wear. Do a thorough closet clean out and determine what fits, what doesn’t and what serves your current lifestyle and needs. Donate or sell those things that don’t fit/work and you will be left with a much clearer picture of what you have to wear. Did you realize that our limiting beliefs can cause us to hang on to things we don’t wear or no longer love? Here’s an excellent article outlining how our beliefs can affect our efforts to clear clutter.
The key to eliminating self limiting beliefs in all areas of our lives is first identifying them. Do you relate to any of the above? I’ll be sharing 5 more next week. Make a list of your self limiting beliefs. Start listening a little closer to that inner voice. Maybe your don’t even realize you are doing this. Once you catch yourself having these limiting thoughts, replace them with empowering thoughts.
I get dressed to feel good/ feel productive vs I don’t have a reason to get dressed.
I have time to pick out cute clothes vs I don’t have time to get dressed.
I choose to move my body and get active and eat healthier vs I’ve always been overweight and always will be.
I can dress the body I have with confidence in flattering ways vs I don’t have the right body for stylish clothes.
I embrace the challenge of creating a wardrobe I love vs I have nothing to wear.
Keep telling yourself the new positive thoughts. What we think is generally what we act on, whether its truth or not. If you want to be stylish, start thinking positive things about your body and how you dress it and you will become stylish- inside and out!
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